Lord Mayor Boko Boko last night reported that due to adverse weather conditions in the
capital CBD torrentail frozen winds and rain, an extreme increase in incidence of smoking related tubercolosis has occurred amongst the demonised population of tobacco smokers. Banished from public buildings addicts have had to endure atrocious climate in addition to exacerbating any pre-existing infirmity, numerous tragic hospitalisations have occurred, emergency oxengenation and exposure facilities are urgently required as resources are becoming critically stretched in the areas of Hoxford, Brixford, Brocklee & Sureditch. Said a clinician: "this is just the tip of an iceberg, we are seeing emphesema, asthma, influenza, chlamidiya and pneumonia rampant, this phenomenon may far outweigh any positive affect of the smoking ban". The royals were reported to be deeply concerned.
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